Bunny Problems
by SnowTime
Summary: Time-traveling had always had its problems. Paradoxes, background stories, and a whole lot of other problems a human cannot possibly comprehend. But really, this has to take the cake. Time-traveling only to be stranded in a body that can be considered useless. Because, what can some rabbits do?
1. Iruka

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Naruto series.**

**A/N: Criticisms are fine. Don't like, don't read. I apologize in advance for any mistakes.**

**Warnings: Do not take this seriously. No serious plot, more like side stories in an AU.**

**Beta: VivyPotter**

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**~Chapter 1: Iruka~**

* * *

"Dobe, I hate you," one irked and pissed Sasuke announced.

"I second that notion." Sakura raised her own paw.

Wait, paw? Yes, paw; for they have all been 'reborn' as cute, cuddly rabbits.

"Didn't I say there would be consequences?" Naruto's long ears flattened themselves. They had just recently born, so they were _very _tiny, and alas, _very_ weak.

"Who knew time-traveling caused these kinds of problems?! We might as well have never tried to change the past!" Sakura roared and tried to hit Naruto, but to her dismay, her bunny body could not keep up with her mind and thus, she tripped. They stared at her, before staring at themselves.

Time-traveling had a lot of problems, all of which were now very obvious to the three. Part of that was getting a body, the inevitability of causing paradoxes and a whole lot of other things that a human can't possibly comprehend. But they still did it, and were now regretting their decision.

"Why _rabbits_ of all the things? A dog, a hawk- hell, I would even be willing to be a cat!" The whole team agreed with his thoughts. Rabbits had to be one of the most harmless animals and so _weak_. The only thing they were good at was repopulating and destroying vegetation.

"But, we aren't _completely_ useless." For some reason or another, they fully had their chakra coils and massive amount from the war. Normal rabbits didn't have such things, so they could give thanks for small blessings.

"True, but I don't count these small nubs on my paws as _fingers_." Sakura pointed out. And yet another problem sprouted. They did have many jutsu's under their belts that no longer required hand-seals, but some of the less mastered ones couldn't be used until otherwise.

"I still have my Sharingan too." Sasuke inputted and then there was silence.

Where was the mother rabbit? They were very interested in meeting her and quizzing her on how a rabbit can have the _genes_ for a Sharingan.

"We aren't in a genjutsu, aren't we?"

"Unfortunately, no."

"Dream?"

"Perhaps- ouch! …Not a dream."

Ah, how they wished everything was a dream. What are they going to be, Ninja-Rabbits? Even the thought of it was enough to make them laugh.

_Groooowl~_

"We need food."

"Yeah..."

"And training."

They may have had their chakra, but their bodies were seriously weak.

"I can still use Fuinjutsu..." Naruto suggested to the other two, but they shook their heads;_ 'negative'_.

"We don't have any ink." Sasuke reminded him, with Sakura adding, "And you'll bleed out and die if you use your blood." Such, was the accursed fragility of being rabbits.

"Or worse yet, get eaten." Naruto added on for himself. Ah, there was one more problem...

"How long do rabbits live?"

"..."

"We better get working."

After all, life is too short and far too precious to waste.

Especially when you're a goddamn _rabbit_.

xxxxx

"That pink fur... Is that really a natural color?"

"They are_ so _cute!"

"I like the golden one. He's energetic!"

And a lot of other compliments were thrown around as they sat in a cage.

Now why were they in a cage?

They were being sold. Yep, the time-traveled ninja turned rabbit-ninjas were being sold in a caravan in Konoha. What luck! Apparently they were bred rabbits, not wild rabbits and so their nice conditions could be explained with that. They'd kept their various colorings from their previous life and each found out what kind of rabbits they were.

Apparently, they were not bred from the same species of rabbits. It was kinda obvious with their different appearances, but they really didn't think much on the subject.

Sasuke was a Havana rabbit with a dark navy, almost black fur and black eyes. His ears were fairly long for his species and his body was rather small and lean. He looked prideful and quiet like he always did, and apparently that wasn't strange for a rabbit. But they _did_ question why he had a taste for tomatoes whenever they tried to feed him other vegetables.

Sakura was a Pygmy rabbit. A rabbit that was very good at digging and one of the smallest rabbits around. The breeders were very confused as to where she got her pink fur from though. There weren't any red coats among her ancestors. But with her round (not that she was very pleased when the breeders declared her 'plump') and furry appearance, she was a very big hit among customers, especially children and women.

Naruto was a Lop rabbit. A rabbit with large ears that drooped downwards, giving him a very innocent and (in Sasuke's words) stupid look, which he firmly denied. Lop rabbits were apparently very popular because of their looks, but were harder to take care of compared to other species.

He wanted to complain. Why was he reborn as a Lop rabbit? He didn't want to be cute (he ignored the tiny voice in his mind that said all rabbits looked cute regardless) and ate with fury when food was brought. He missed ramen very much, but vegetables tasted better than he remembered. He also missed meat... Oh why were rabbits herbivores?

Looking at the cage, he decided to escape. They were near the Academy and he wanted to check out which time period they were in. So in agreement, they all hopped out of their cage with a chakra enhanced jump and fled, ignoring the cries of their breeder and various people that tried to catch them.

It was nice that rabbits were tiny and fast. Because they could squeeze into places others couldn't.

xxxxx

To Iruka, it was a perfectly nice and normal day. He was teaching his students (including Naruto, who for once didn't escape) and doing his usual habit of firing chalk at students who had the nerve to fall asleep (Naruto included). But that all came to an end when something unusual fell upon him.

Three rabbits that were clearly not even half-grown hopped through his class window. One landed on his hair, it had the trademark ears for a Lop rabbit. Another took refuge on his shoulder; it was a small black one that eerily reminded him of somebody and another _pink _rabbit that landed in his hands.

Where were these rabbits coming from?

"Iruka-sensei! Are they your pets?" one of his students asked him excitedly as she cooed at the adorable little animals.

"No." Years being a teacher and ninja causing him to become accustomed to things such as this, so he wasn't panicking. But he was still mystified. His questions were soon answered when their apparent breeder came through the door, asking if they had seen some runaway baby rabbits.

He later bought them for reasons he still couldn't quite understand (mostly due to his students insistent begging) and apparently the rabbits own wishes. They demonstrated this by latching their claws onto him and refusing to budge when they tried to remove them.

He signed. Why couldn't this day be normal? It must be the reason why Naruto was so obedient earlier. The universe had to make up somehow for the trouble ahead. He snorted. It was a pitiful compromise.

xxxxx

Iruka was eyed weirdly as he made his way to the mission desk with all three rabbits. His new pets were surprisingly obedient and potty trained. He didn't know it was possible to train rabbits, but they did their business outside when needed and didn't cause trouble.

Hell, they even helped him by hopping and scratching students awake when he wasn't paying attention. They were mysterious pets...

"Oh, Iruka. Gained some fans? I heard about the incident." The Hokage greeted with his kind smile when he arrived. The Lop rabbit (dear, he needed to name them soon) hopped down from the top of his head and landed on the Hokage's hat as Iruka's smile became strained.

He quickly grabbed the rabbit and cradled it in his arms. "I'm sorry Hokage-sama..."

Hiruzen waved him off. "It's fine, the rabbit wasn't causing any trouble."

They were later joined by Asuma and Konohamaru due to the cuteness of the entire thing.

"Er... May I leave?" Iruka asked uncertainly as the sun settled. The rabbits willingly returned to him, much to Konohamaru's displeasure, and they left, promising to return the next day.

"Now, what do you guys eat?"

What followed this foolish and naïve question was an escapade of epic proportions, entailing the rabbits leading him to various areas with him chasing. Tomatoes, regular vegetables and... ramen? "I don't think that's healthy for rabbits..." The others shared the same thoughts but the lop-eared rabbit refused to budge, so he bought a bowl home.

It was quite amazing and disturbing when the rabbit also ate the pork in the ramen... weren't rabbits vegetarians? It was tempting to just name him Naruto and be done with it. But then he'd have a guilty conscience because he didn't name him properly, so he'd have to wait and see if anything else popped up.

xxxxx

"Alright, so any suggestions on names?" They started the day with that and he picked out students with their hands raised.

"Ramen! Miso Ramen!" Three guess on who and the first two don't count. The rabbits themselves somehow gave deadpan looks and both kicked the middle one between them, which happened to be the rabbit!Naruto. He returned the favor to rabbit!Sasuke. And then they started to fight.

It was the most amazing and vicious fight the students (and teacher) had ever seen between two soft animals that certainly were not known for their fighting. Jaws slackened as Sasuke attacked with a small fireball and Naruto dodged with impressive speed. But their jaws could only drop even more when Sakura decided that enough was enough and set to split them.

The floor beneath her paws cracked and a small crater was formed.

Perhaps Iruka should take them to the T&amp;I. They certainly weren't normal.

But after everything, names were decided.

Sasuke was renamed Kuroya for his fur.

Sakura, Chīsana for tiny.

And Naruto was named Nūdoru, for his love of noodles. The other Naruto was perfectly happy with the name too.

And that was how Konoha gained three more new residents interfering with everyday life. And though they may try to deny it, they couldn't be happier.


	2. Kakashi

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Naruto series.**

**A/N: Criticisms are fine. Don't like, don't read. I apologize in advance for any mistakes.**

**Warnings: Do not take this seriously. No serious plot, more like side stories in an AU.**

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**~Chapter 2: Kakashi~**

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A pair of black steely eyes stared at him on top of Obito's gravestone. It belonged to a rabbit, but he could had swore that the rabbit was part Uchiha with its glare. He vaguely wondered if it wasn't the reincarnation of some Uchiha that hated him, but dismissed that thought as soon as it came. What can a rabbit-that-could-had-been-a-Kakashi-hater do to him anyways?

And he got the answer the hard way, the _very_ hard way.

He was also wrong about them being Kakashi haters because he had a Sharingan. No, the reasons for all his pain was because of everything he had done to them in the near future where they couldn't do anything to him but complain and glare.

He first felt the ground beneath his toes shift and he quickly dodged the tiny pink _(Pink?)_ rabbit that exploded out of the ground, aiming at a _very_ sensitive area. With that one action, he concluded:

Some Rabbits (Capital R needed) are dangerous. And he certainly wasn't interested in finding out if rabbits had rabies. He also heard a rather disturbing rumor about a meat-loving rabbit, which could be these rabbits he was currently facing.

However, back to the situation at hand, a third, and final rabbit also appeared when it jumped from its tree and aimed a devastating rabbit!kick at his head. The ground cracked from where Kakashi dodged and he heaved a sign of relief. How embarrassing would it be to get a concussion from a rabbit!

He took note of the three rabbits that appeared. One was the Uchiha-like rabbit from before, still calmly sitting on the gravestone. The other was a tiny pink rabbit that apparently, was strong enough to dig and propel itself at him, rather accurately, may he add. The third one looked innocent enough if it hadn't just aimed a head-bashing kick at him, but there was something about it that just screamed _'Mischievous!'_.

And he soon found out why when the apparent rabbits multiplied!

"Oh, my lord Hokage..." three he could handle. Ten? Still can. A hundred? A little hard, but still yes. The who-knows-how-many-hundreds-perhaps-thousands in front of him? Definitely not. He was quickly surrounded and buried by a pile of fur and tiny bodies as he struggled to get out.

When he 'kills' perhaps a hundred of them, another hundred was quickly made and there was no end in sight. Understandably, he would also not notice one of the many rabbits sneaking a certain orange object off his person while he struggled.

'_Rabbits are supposed to breed like crazy, not actually clone themselves!'_ he thought, deeply disturbed and annoyed at the never ending waves that finally, thinned enough for him to see his own legs. With renewed energy at the sign, the rest of the bunny-army was quickly put to rest and he spied three small figures running (hopping) away like crazy while carrying something suspicious...

His eyes widen in alarm. "My _Icha Icha!_" and he chased after them like a starving wolf, greatly alarming the runaway thieves.

It was at this point, Sasuke stepped forward and bravely sacrificed himself for the greater good:

The Bonfire.

The final piece of revenge against Kakashi and they would do it no matter what. Even if it meant losing some fur and perhaps becoming rabbit stew.

With a snarl that shouldn't have come from a bunny, Sasuke broke away from the group and charged toward the gaining Kakashi with claws outstretched and fangs bared.

"_Feel the pain of Team 7!"_ Sasuke roared, but of course, Kakashi could not understand his words of fury and pain.

The rabbit and man fought a brutal one minute battle before Sasuke finally fell. But even as he fell, Sasuke could feel a smirk stretch across his face. Stalling the ninja for even a minute would be a huge boost for the team, and he could fall peacefully to the ground as Kakashi cursed and continued the chase.

'_I'll leave it up to you guys... Sakura, Naruto.'_

xxxxx

Naruto and Sakura ran with their prize stuck on their fur through the steady stream of chakra as they prayed for the health of their brave teammate. They were about halfway to their destination when they heard the rumbling steps of doom that was quickly catching up to them and Sakura transferred the entire bundle to Naruto, and broke off from their retreat to confront Kakashi.

Naruto was their best bet on completing their mission since he could still escape with Kage Bunshin if the the two other members of Team 7 failed to stall Kakashi long enough. He was also the best escapee among their group due to the constant pranks he played as a kid.

Naruto forced some more chakra into his four paws and started to take shortcuts through the village by unconventional means.

Comments like: "Ow! Don't hop on me!" "Watch it!" and, "Why is there a book on his back?" were constantly thrown around as the tiny Lop bunny caused chaos within the village whilst trying to make it to their destination.

xxxxx

The showdown between Sakura, the pink Pygmy rabbit and Kakashi the Copy Ninja (or Perverted Ninja) began as soon as she broke away from Naruto. Without giving Kakashi any chance to register her sudden appearance, she launched a tiny fist (paw) directly at his abdomen. True to being titled as one of the elites, Kakashi dodged, but his single eye did widen in shock when the attack broke apart the spot where he once stood.

His eye narrowed in suspicion and wariness.

Sakura made a come-on gesture with her paw as she stood on her hind legs. She allowed a smirk to cross her face as Kakashi's single eye narrowed, and he disappeared in a burst of speed!

Sakura dodged the kicked that was aimed at her and poured chakra into her forehead for a headbutt. It was swiftly dodged and she was thrown into the air. Rabbits were small and light animals, so throwing them off certainly wasn't hard. But Sakura wasn't just any rabbit, she took a bite out of Kakashi before he could run after Naruto.

'_We're leaving it all to you Naruto... If that book isn't properly burned, I'll smash you, SHANNARO!'_

xxxxx

Naruto felt a chill up his spine that urged him to run even faster.

'_I feel like Sakura-chan's threatening me...'_ and then he felt an even more ominous chill that just threatened to skin and _torture_ him.

Damn, it was Kakashi! A furious Kakashi with the complete package of both eyes, killing-intent, and weapons flying from their pouches!

But!

He was also arriving at their camp (Thank Kami) and he leaped, Kakashi following behind him like a shadow (who really wanted to kill him).

BUT!

He was within arms (or is it legs?) reach of their roaring bonfire and he threateningly held the book within burning distance, which instantly froze the ninja.

"Now, now Rabbit-sama, there is no need to do that. I don't know what I've done to annoy you, but I'm pretty sure the book can stay out of it, yes?" the aura around Kakashi became more and more dangerous and Naruto gulp.

It was now or never.

The book fell into the fire and when the kunai hit him, he went up into a puff of smoke.

"Damn those accursed rabbits..." _'This means war!'_ and he went to sharpen his weapons while hidden behind a sign, Naruto let out a small sigh and he fell forward into a slump.

"I'm never doing that again."

"But it was worth it." Sakura popped out from the ground, a little bit of dirt on her nose while Sasuke appeared quietly from a bush.

"Hn." he nodded, his head held up high and proud.

"Yeah, but did you see how close he was to skinning me alive?" Naruto felt another chill go through him and he got up, preparing to hop to Iruka before his life was taken. "I'm running to Iruka-sensei, he'll save us from Kakashi."

And the teacher did.

Kakashi sat through a four hour lecture about reading porn in public and possibly scaring innocent kids, while saying his pets were off limits and what they've done was good for the village... The list was too long and they've dozed off in the middle of it.

Iruka-sensei was Kami, no other people would be able to lecture like he does and to someone higher ranking than they were.

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**Preview for next chapter: Anko**

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"My, my. What cute looking rabbits."

_"Deliciousssss..."_

_"May we eat them mistresssssss..."_

xxxxx

"Why her?"

"RUN BEFORE YOU'RE SWALLOWED!"

"Tch, of all the ninjas in this village..."


End file.
